The Many Faces of ADHD

One of the most well known, and misunderstood, side effects of ADHD is the lack of focus. First of all, let me clarify that up for all of you "focused" types. We are not unfocused, we are merely focused on a myriad of things at once, and this can lead to interesting experiences, both comical and unfortunate.

They say that one of the best ways to keep focus is to develop a routine. Do things in the same order every time. For those of you focused people, this makes things easier, but it's not a necessity. Let me walk you through what happens to one of us focus-impaired if we don't follow a routine:

I'm taking a shower. I get in and start thinking about what I need to do that day, and what I did yesterday, whether or not that bathtub crayon will come off with regular tub cleaner, or if I need to buy heavy duty cleaner that will not only strip the crayon off but most likely dissolve bone should the need arise. I lather up my right leg, and start shaving away. Shoot! I wanted to shampoo my hair and then let the conditioner sit while I shaved my legs, like I usually do. Oh well. I'll just do that after this leg. Back to my imaginary conversation (most likely it's the one where I wished I had said something witty to someone, and failed. Now I'm getting it right). Leg is shaved. Hair is shampooed. Hair is conditioned. Shaved the armpits. Lathered and rinsed with Caress (because before you dress, Caress). Great shower!  Mental to do list is complete, and I'm sparkly clean, and I have redeemed myself with quick comebacks. Toweling off....why does my left leg look like a Yeti? Did I shave my right one twice? Have I developed super human follicle powers? Will they want to conduct experiments on me?! Will they want to probe me?  Ha! No. I just did things out of order, and that's what happens. Time for shower part deux.  I wish I could say this is the first time it's taken multiple showers to complete the job, but no. I've forgotten to rinse conditioner, and have even come out covered in bubbles, because I am focusing on too many things at once.

That's how it effects me. I have inattentive ADHD, more than the hyper kind. My daughter, however, is full of the hyper kind, as well as inattentive. Her struggle is much more real, for lack of a better word. I can't tell you how many conversations have been interrupted by the clichéd, "Oh, look! A squirrel!" She's too young to know how stereotypical that is, and so hubby and I laugh and laugh each time.

But it goes beyond that. You see, we enrolled her in karate. While this has been great for her, it is also comically cruel. "R! Focus! R, stop touching him! R, pay attention! R! Hold still! R, stop watching the other class!" You can usually hear all of those being said to her within a 10 minute time span. Sometimes it's really hard to hear. My heart breaks for her. I'm tired of hearing her getting yelled at for something she can't help. Luckily she it hasn't seemed to effect her self-esteem....yet.

Other times, it's gold. Picture this: My tiny waif of a girl is all suited up to spar. She's got on her huge sparring gloves and boots, and her hat that squishes her cheeks up like a chipmunk's. So adorable. She's fighting a larger boy and doing a pretty great job of holding her own. That is until she notices that the class next to her is practicing blocks by pretending to sword fight. She stops in the middle of her fight, turns around, and is entranced by their class. BAM! A punch right to the back of her head. She is incredulous! Why in the world would anybody punch her in the head?! What are they thinking?? It's not as if....oh wait. Yes. Realization dawns. She was in the middle of a fight. Just to see the expressions flash across her face like that was comical. I'm sure I wouldn't feel the same if she weren't wearing protective gear, but hey, we need to laugh at ourselves when we can.

And then there are times I want to cheer for her ADHD superpowers! I can't tell you how many times she's been focused on everything around her to the point where it looks like she's not paying attention to anything, or it looks like she's just gabbing with her friends. But, boy, her little mind takes it all in. "R! Are you paying attention? What did I just say?" asks the smug teacher who thinks he has her caught. And word for word, my little repeats his last sentence. HA! Or she'll stop in the middle of a complicated hand sequence to watch the fly buzzing around above her. When it's gone, she'll pick right back up where she left off as if nothing happened. She's amazing.

You may think you know what ADHD is. You may think it's that problem kid that just won't listen. It's the kid on the street that's always in trouble. It's the child at the playground that is all over the place. It's the guy in the office that just checks out mentally. Yeah, that's us. But there's so much more to it. We are all over the place, and we are accomplishing so much at the same time. We are going over out To-Do lists, checking it twice, winning a debate, figuring out how that thingy over there works, watching those people over there do that thing they're doing, planning the week's meals, remembering a lesson we learned a few days ago, and remembering where we left our car keys....all while you are staring at us wondering what's wrong with us.