The Big Decision

"Oh. I could never do that. I don't have the patience" or "Aren't you worried about socialization?" and even, "Why did you even have kids in the first place?!" These are all questions I get when I tell people that we homeschool. Deciding to homeschool was the one of the best parenting decisions hubby and I ever made, but the decision to do so wasn't easy, and it certainly didn't happen overnight.

One day, shortly before preschool graduation, we went past where her new school would be. We looked at it, and I said, "R, this will be your school next year! Can you imagine?" and then with a big smile I sat and I pictured how it would go. I imagined her first day of school. I'd walk her to her classroom, give her a big hug and kiss and hide my tears as I watched her meet her new friends. A few hours later I'd pick her up and we'd have a nice lunch as we talked about how well it went. The first day of my baby being a real big kid.

That fantasy lasted until Kindergarten registration. The first thing I noticed was that Kindergarten was not half days. I panicked! How could my barely 5 year old go from 7 hours a week in school to 7 hours a day in school?! Then I saw a small little box on the form off to the side for this option.  I felt much better....until I went inside and spoke to the principal. I wanted to ask him about the half days, much to his dismay. He wanted to "strenuously discourage" us from pursuing that option as their curriculum was "extremely rigorous." The hell?! She's barely 5! What kind of rigor does she need at this point?! I suggested that I could homeschool her the remainder of the day for what she missed. He did not bother to hide his disdain and skepticism of this idea. He told me that no other kids were using this option, and that my daughter would pretty much be social outcast. Please! That's a label she should be able to earn on her own, not get handed to her based on her school hours.

I looked for another way to make this situation more acceptable. I asked about rest times. I was told there were no rest times, but if kids started to get fidgety, they'd be allowed to get a drink of water. Yeah. That'll nip that restlessness in the bud! Everyone knows what kids really need is proper hydration, not exercise. Besides, how long do you think before R caught on to that little trick?  Not to mention the numerous potty breaks she'd need after spending half a day at the fountain, based on how fidgety she is.

The rest of my fantasy quickly crumbled. I would not be allowed to walk her to her classroom. I had to drop her off in the front of the building and just trust that she made it inside and to the right classroom. If I didn't want to just eject her from the vehicle at a slow roll, I had to find a parking spot to walk her to the door. Guess where the guest parking was? Boxed in next to the drop off line. So I would have to wait in the long line of parents waiting to drop off their little bundles of joy and run just to get a spot, and then I'd have to wait for an opening to be able to get out of the spot. Not to mention that the kids have to cross in front of the bus lane just to get from their vehicle to the sidewalk. Don't get me wrong, there are people who I'd love see play human Frogger, but most days, not my offspring.

My huge grin that I wore when I imagined my daughter's first day of school quickly turned into tears. This was a nightmare. My daughter had to run a gauntlet just to get to a class that would be entirely too long and rigorous for her to handle. When she came home at the end of the day I would be left with an incredibly cranky child that still had hours of homework thanks to their strenuous curriculum. After forcing her through this homework, we had just enough time to squeeze in a meal and hopefully a bath before bed.

I felt like I just lost my daughter. No more fun times except for the weekend. No more night walks on those pleasant weekday evenings. No more laughter. No time for playing, and even if there was time, it would be filled with fighting and tears because she was exhausted and didn't get a nap. My wonderfully challenging daughter was about to be replaced with an exhausted, cranky monster. I felt like I had shared custody of my kid with the school, but the school was the one who got all the quality time. I was left with damage control. I cried. I felt like I was mourning my child. This may seem dramatic, but there were times when this is how I felt.

I started throwing around the idea of homeschooling. At first I discussed homeschooling for a half of a day with my husband. He was skeptical about it and had a hard time getting past the social stigma connected to it. I mentioned it to my daughter's preschool teacher when she started having problems and was getting diagnosed for ADHD and anxiety. She gave me a look of insulted disdain. After several school shootings being on the news, I mentioned it to my dad. He screamed in my face, "Why did you even have kids?!" My step-mom piped up with, "Our kids went to public school and turned out just fine." The truth behind that statement is debatable.

After much thought, discussion, and research we took the plunge and withdrew R from public school. We faced ridicule, weird looks, unintentionally rude comments, heck, even some intentionally rude comments. But this is easily one of the best decisions we have made when it comes to parenting. Homeschooling is actually a blast! We learn what we want, when we want. We play. We go on field trips. We enjoy learning. And not a week goes by that something in the news or heard on the grapevine doesn't pop up to reaffirm our decision.

Oh, and if you're worried about her socialization skills, I just had to wait 20 minutes while she had a conversation with the parent of one of her teenage karate friends. She's got this.