Gather around kiddies, it's story time. My previous posts
have all been about deep, insightful life events. Not this time. Today I'm
going to tell you all about my adventures with starting medications.
My doctor, after listening to me for what I'm sure is much
longer than our allotted appointment time about the train wreck that is inside
my head, has wisely prescribed me three medications. She said, "First,
let's get this anxiety under control. I want you to start with this one."
And she gives me a script for what I'll call C. "Now, take this A for your
ADHD." Okie-dokie. "And this T will help you sleep at night"
because I had mentioned that I have horrid insomnia and had been taking Melatonin.
Now, here's where I royally screw up the most simplistic
instructions. After much insurance pricing, prescription coupons, and other such
nonsense, I pick up my pills. I decline the T since I had that awesome
Melatonin at home. I knew my C had to be taken with food, so like a good little
soldier I ate a light breakfast even though I HATE eating breakfast. I read
the bottles very carefully so I make sure to take the right pill....and proceed
to take the wrong pill.
Now what? Do I continue to take the pill I just took, and
wait a few days like I was supposed to do before starting the second
medication? Do I stop taking the A and just take the C? Choices, choices. For
most people, this might be an easy decision. But not for me. Nooooo. I have to
have an anxiety disorder, so for me this is like the Who Wants to Be a
Millionaire million dollar question. So, I opt to Phone a Friend.
I decide to continue the day with A, and later I message my
EMT friend who is super awesome and goes out of his way to help me out. I tell
him what I was prescribed and what I had done so far, and the mess that I was in. He expressed that he was surprised that I was
given that sort of a combo as it could be quite dangerous. Speedballing is what
it is called on the streets. Now, you might think Speedballing is a new Olympic Sport where you
have sex on a toboggan while racing along at top neck speeds, but no, that's wrong, on so many levels. That's
okay, though, that's what I thought at first, too. Don't beat yourself up. Apparently
it's taking uppers and downers at the same time, and it has some nasty side
effects.
So now I've got to call the pharmacy back and inquire about
this. The combination of the two may cause me anxiety, the pharmacist said. If
I experience this, I need to stop taking them. Pause for a moment, and let that
sink in. My anxiety meds may cause me anxiety. How would I know if this is new
anxiety or pre-existing anxiety? I'm getting anxiety trying to figure it
out....or is it the medication?! Also, may cause hallucinations, which I think
would be a-MA-zing! Talk about adding something interesting to the day of a
stay-at-home mom that doesn't include Vaseline or a Sharpie marker.
But the pharmacist did say that the doses were low enough
that there wasn't a huge risk and that I shouldn't have to wait to start taking
them together. Great! Problem solved....or so I think. Sunday I take them both
together. ADHD still super active, but I'm much happier, calmer. Still have
anxiety, but I feel better about it, if that makes sense.
All is well, until
it's not. Sunday night, no sleep. I took 2 Melatonin's, to no avail. Got up for
a 3rd. Nothing. My thoughts were racing. At one point, I believed that my thoughts were going so fast that for sure my heart had to be going just as fast. I wondered if I was going to have a heart-attack from fast thoughts. I considered checking my pulse, but didn't really feel like it. One hour of sleep all night. I call up the pharmacist and beg
to get the T meds that I declined a few days earlier.
Monday evening at my daughter's karate class, I get to
talking to another mom who has ADHD. She was really friendly, and we spoke
about it at length. Before long the topic of meds came up. I told her what I was on,
and she said she took the C pills, too. I asked her if they gave her insomnia,
and she said the C pills don't, but her anxiety meds used to.
Wait....hold the phone. Aren't C pills
for anxiety? Nope, those are for depression, and she pulls the drug facts up on
her smart phone to show me. Sure enough. I've been taking depression meds.
But I'm not depressed! This explains my really, really great mood, even after 1 hour of sleep, but
what's it going to do for my anxiety?! Now I have anxiety. I call up the
pharmacist...again....and inquire. Thankfully I'm told C is an unwritten med
used for anxiety. It's often used because it's non-addictive. Now I love my
doctor. She knows my family has addiction issues and is looking out for me! So
sweet. And making me happier along the way. How awesome is that!
After karate, we swing by the pharmacy to pick up my
sleeping pills. I read the label:
"T is used in the treatment of anxiety and chronic pain."
Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous. I'm taking C which is for
depression, but I'm using it for anxiety. T is actually for anxiety, but I'm
using it to sleep. And Melatonin, the pill that is supposed to make me sleep,
doesn't work.
At this point, I give up. It's only been a few days, and
they're all supposed to take a week or so to fully kick in. I'm happier and calmer
during the day, which is a plus, so I'm just going to go with the flow.
Thankfully, the T did help me sleep. And I'm quite disappointed to report, I
have had no hallucinations as of yet!
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